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102215-Aliens, Appliances, and Alliances
08:48 -- angryGardener AG began pestering guardantTuraco GT at 20:48 -- 08:49 AG: Hey 08:49 GT: oh, hello mr. simons! 08:49 GT: is there anything you need? 08:49 AG: yeah, uh, you know Kyle? 08:49 GT: i do! 08:50 GT: the unfortunate soul who believes me to be some manner of con artist! 08:50 GT: i certainly hope he comes to treat me as a friend soon :X 08:51 AG: Well, I convinced him that you're an emperor of an entire alien race 08:51 GT: ...oddly relevant, actually! 08:51 AG: How? 08:52 GT: i have been contacted by what seems to be a genuine alien! 08:52 GT: apparently, they have been horribly mistreated by a teammate of ours! 08:52 AG: and I thought Kyle was crazy 08:52 GT: it certainly seems bizarre, doesn't it? 08:52 GT: but he has no reason to lie! 08:53 AG: Have you ever heard of trolls? 08:53 GT: i most certainly have! i just met one! 08:53 GT: fascinating people! 08:53 AG: ... 08:53 GT: i must recommend you speak to cascadingCourtier yourself! 08:54 GT: he should be able to assuage any suspicions you have! 08:54 GT: and please, be kind and courteous! 08:54 AG: Trolls are internet pranksters 08:54 GT: how curious that a species of alien shares a name with that ilk 08:54 GT: well, that and a mythical humanoid 08:55 GT: i certainly hope the bridge-dwelling variety isn't as real as the other two! 08:55 AG: Just tell who was messing with these guys 08:56 GT: well, i've only spoken to one 08:56 GT: the aforementioned cascadingCourtier 08:56 GT: he certainly seems friendly enough! 08:56 GT: you should become friends! 08:56 AG: Did he tell you who was messing with him? 08:57 GT: gaslampTragedian! 08:57 GT: also known as jack detrich. 08:57 AG: Jack? 08:57 GT: yes, jack! 08:58 GT: apparently he has been threatening them? 08:58 AG: How? 08:58 GT: well, via text most likely 08:58 GT: i doubt he has access to spaceflight 08:59 AG: Are you sure? 08:59 GT: about the spaceflight? very! 09:00 AG: No, that jack has been threatening this guy? 09:00 GT: well, i am not! 09:00 GT: i am going to investigate these claims very thoroughly! 09:01 AG: Speaking of which 09:01 AG: I should probably warn you 09:02 AG: Kyle might end up contacting you 09:02 GT: why would this warrant a warning? 09:02 GT: i would be glad to speak to him! 09:03 AG: Remember what I said at the beginning of this conversation? 09:04 AG: And how weird he was the first time you contacted him 09:04 GT: ah, well 09:05 GT: hopefully if he thinks i am some manner of emperor 09:05 GT: he'll treat me moderately... better? 09:05 AG: I also told him, if I can remember correctly, that you want to kill me and him 09:06 GT: ...and why did you do this, again? 09:06 GT: i'm failing to see the prudence 09:06 AG: I think he's also under the impression that you've been harassing me 09:07 GT: i'm beginning to believe you were slandering me to this poor fellow! 09:07 GT: i must implore you to perhaps be a touch kinder in the future? 09:07 AG: I've tried telling him that you're just a regular guy 09:07 AG: But he won't listen 09:08 AG: He never listens to the simple answers 09:08 GT: ah, then this is his fabrication? 09:09 GT: i'm sad to hear he thinks so poorly of me! 09:09 GT: is there anything i can do to improve my standing in his eyes? 09:09 AG: Contact him 09:09 AG: I wouldn't suggest saying that you were a human 09:10 GT: ...so i should play along with his eccentricities? 09:10 AG: I would suggest that you bring up aliens 09:10 AG: No 09:12 AG: An alien disguised as a human would never bring up aliens 09:13 GT: so i should bring up aliens to dissuade his concept of my being an alien? 09:13 AG: Yes 09:13 GT: ah, i see! 09:13 GT: thank you for your valuable insight, mr. simons 09:14 AG: Now, about that whole actual alien thing 09:14 AG: What was their name? 09:14 AG: Did they give one? 09:15 GT: nyarla aesona! 09:15 GT: it reminds me of nyaralathotep from the works of h. p. lovecraft! 09:16 AG: Never read any H.P. Lovecraft 09:16 GT: you should! he is a marvellous author 09:16 GT: a true master of horror fiction! 09:16 GT: ah, i know! perhaps i will send you the captchacodes for an anthology? 09:17 AG: Nah, I'm goof 09:17 AG: *good 09:17 GT: ah, if you wish. though i must repeat my recommendation! 09:18 AG: Shit, my toaster blew up, again 09:19 GT: ...perhaps your should invest in safer appliances? 09:19 GT: i could buy you one! 09:20 AG: I make them, it's a hell of a lot cheaper than buying them 09:21 GT: ah, funds are not an issue for me! 09:22 GT: i've purchased you a middle-of-the-line toaster, just now! 09:22 GT: an kitchenaid proline! 09:22 AG: Wow, thanks 09:22 GT: it only cost about ~$500 american dollars! 09:22 GT: i hope you enjoy it, mr. simons! 09:22 GT: and have plenty of toasted foods! 09:23 AG: Hey, aren't you the heir to a company? 09:24 GT: i am! 09:24 GT: rybalt industries! 09:25 GT: while defunct now, its heyday has left me with a copious amount of funds! 09:25 AG: What was it all about? 09:25 GT: apparently it produced a variety of nuclear-powered items! 09:25 GT: ranging from computers, to cars, to household appliances! 09:26 GT: the discovery of fatal radiation poisoning put an unfortunate damper on our productivity :( 09:26 AG: Well, at least you have a shit ton of money 09:28 AG: Didn't you say your butler chose us? 09:28 GT: yes, he did! 09:28 GT: he is the only employee of rybalt industries! 09:28 GT: the only one left, anyways 09:28 AG: Who takes care of you? 09:28 AG: Him? 09:28 GT: yes! i suppose he was instructed to at some point by my birth parents? 09:29 AG: Where are your birth parents? 09:29 GT: i haven't the foggiest! 09:29 GT: i have absolutely no recollection of them whatsoever! 09:29 GT: and my dear guardian refuses to speak anything of them! 09:30 GT: i imagine it's due to some kind of living will! 09:30 AG: Wow, at least I know I HAD parents 09:30 GT: ah, it's no matter! 09:30 AG: Do you even know their names? 09:31 GT: not at all! 09:31 AG: wow 09:31 GT: not even employee lists and other company files speak nothing of them! 09:31 AG: That's really sad 09:32 GT: ah, it's of no worry to me! 09:32 GT: i'm certain they had their reasons :) 09:32 AG: How does this not worry you? 09:32 GT: well, if i never met them, how can i be expected to have any real emotional connection to them? 09:33 GT: for all intents and purposes, i do have a father already! 09:33 AG: Your butler? 09:33 GT: yes, exactly! 09:33 GT: very sharp of you, mr. simons! 09:33 AG: Wow, you're really living the high life, aren't you? 09:33 GT: i suppose you could say i am! 09:34 GT: i am merely living as i am used to! 09:34 GT: and able to, of course! 09:35 AG: You don't even care that your parents are missing 09:36 GT: once again, i'm certain they have their reasons! 09:36 AG: What if they're dead? 09:37 AG: or in prison? 09:37 GT: so it goes, then! 09:37 GT: there's no point deliberating over the past, mr. simons! 09:37 GT: even if my parents are dead, or some manner of criminal 09:37 GT: it hardly effects who i am, or who i will be! 09:38 AG: That's all I've done for my entire life, I think about the past 09:39 GT: hmm, is that really the best for you? 09:39 GT: we live in the present and look towards the future! 09:39 GT: the past holds nothing for us! 09:40 AG: I've found out a lot through looking at the past 09:41 GT: but what could you have found in the present or future? 09:41 GT: well, perhaps you know better than i, mr. simons! 09:41 AG: Hm 09:41 GT: i shouldn't judge your experience so harshly! 09:42 AG: Yeah, and I shouldn't judge you for not caring about your parents 09:42 GT: ah, it's no problem at all, mr. simons! 09:42 AG: But how do you always seem to be so happy? 09:42 GT: well, i suppose i simply am! 09:42 GT: :) 09:43 GT: it's simply difficult to be unhappy when life is such a grand adventure! 09:44 AG: Maybe when you're rich 09:44 GT: haha, i must disagree! 09:45 GT: i have spent my entire life within the walls of my family estate, mr. simons! 09:45 GT: such is the price of my fortune! 09:45 GT: you have much less monetary value than i, 09:45 GT: but likely have gone on far more adventures than i! 09:46 AG: The most adventurous thing I've done is hang out in my Grandpa's attic 09:47 GT: i do not have a grandfather or an attic! 09:47 GT: you should be grateful for what you have, mr. simons! 09:48 GT: it's easy to be happy when you recognize all the wonderful things around you! 09:48 AG: Really 09:48 AG: My attic is the scariest place on this planet 09:48 AG: and my Grandpa 09:48 AG: Don't even get me started 09:49 GT: what is an adventure if it isn't even the littlest bit scary, mr. simons? 09:49 GT: every adventurer worth their salt is scared witless the whole time! 09:51 AG: The only good thing about that attic is that I found The Gingerbread Man in there 09:51 AG: along with some other awesome horror movies 09:51 GT: movies are a treasure in their own right! 09:51 GT: it sounds to me like this was a worthy adventure indeed! 09:52 AG: I guess you're right 09:53 GT: that's the right idea! 09:54 GT: think on the bright side :) 09:54 AG: What about my Grandpa 09:54 AG: He's constantly bitter 09:54 GT: what of him? 09:54 AG: And he ignores me half the time 09:54 GT: people do not do something for no reason, mr. simons! 09:55 GT: i'm certain he has a good reason for his bitterness and distant demeanour! 09:55 AG: He has said I remind him of my dad, but I don't see why that would offend me 09:56 GT: exactly the point! 09:56 GT: as of my knowledge, fathers love their sons! 09:56 AG: My dad left when I was three 09:56 AG: Right after my mom died 09:56 GT: ah, how unfortunate! 09:57 GT: but you must consider him as more than your father! 09:57 GT: he is also a human being! 09:57 GT: is it really so impossible to imagine that, 09:57 GT: he could not bear the sight of his late wife's visage within his son? 09:58 GT: i doubt he left out of hatred or selfishness 09:58 AG: I know, but you don't just leave your kid all alone 09:58 GT: perhaps he had no other choice! 09:58 GT: perhaps it was merely the less painful of two options! 09:58 GT: and are you really alone? 09:58 GT: you have your grandfather! 09:59 AG: My Grandpa is 09:59 AG: I don't know 10:01 GT: perhaps you will know one day! 10:01 GT: just make sure that day is not too late! 10:01 GT: you never know when you will be left truly alone! 10:01 GT: appreciate what you have now! 10:02 AG: hm 10:03 AG: I don't know how to respond to this 10:04 GT: you don't need to! 10:04 GT: i understand this might be difficult to grasp! 10:04 GT: troubling, even! 10:04 GT: a very emotional subject indeed! 10:04 AG: Yeah 10:04 GT: perhaps i should leave you to your thoughts> 10:05 AG: Yeah 10:05 AG: Yeah, need to think 10:05 GT: please do! 10:05 GT: goodbye, mr. simons! 10:05 AG: Yeah, later 10:06 GT: ciao! 10:06 -- guardantTuraco GT ceased pestering angryGardener AG at 22:06 -- Category:Arch Category:Mike